Does balance exist in "body love"?
Is it possible... to routinely weigh myself...or to count my macros....or to work hard to build muscle and love myself as I am?
Is it possible to love myself as I am RIGHT now AND want to be healthier and stronger in the future?
Lord Jesus, do I feel this struggle more and more every day. Especially in the midst of the "body love" movement with the plethora of emotional-eating coaches filling up my social media; which I adore by the way.
Here is a little background for ya.
I grew up hating my body; like, truly hating it. I remember in middle school comparing knee fat to the other girls. KNEE FAT! Wondering, as we bent our knees, if my knee fat was more or less than theirs, and how much weight I would have to lose to get rid of it. I look back now and think how ridiculous that was. I wish I had already known that I was perfect, just how I was, knee fat and all.
As life went on I continued to diet and gain and lose weight over and over. I was never satisfied with who I was or what I looked like... which is hilarious, because I sure do wish I looked like that now.
Anyone else look back and feel the same?
Fast forward to a few years ago when I had the privilege to work with the lovely Sarah Jenks. Her Live More, Weigh Less Program had me focus on not "waiting on the weight" to have fun and have adventures. It completely changed my perspective and I truly learned to love my body, even though I happened to be at my heaviest weight at the time.
So this is where I run into trouble. What do I do if I want to be stronger and healthier? If I truly do not feel good physically?
I mean, I love myself now, and even wear shorts, but all I hear when I want to get more fit is, "throw away the scale," "eat what makes you feel good," etc. Isn't there a way to do both? As weird as it sounds, I feel like I am cheating on the "body love" community when I step on that scale or count my macros. Shouldn't I be happy with what my body looks like right now?
Is it okay to want to build muscle, do real push-ups, and bomb-ass kung fu moves without struggling? Can't wanting to be better physically also count as body love?
I am really feeling the push and pull from both sides here. Can I still love both sides of the spectrum and love myself?
Leave me your thoughts below....I sure would love to hear them.